Mindset story: A Zen master's lesson about what success is

Once upon a time, a father was very frustrated with his son because he did not seem very manly though he was already sixteen years old. The father went to see a Zen master and asked the master to help his son become a real man. He told the zen master that his biggest fear was that his son will never know what success is.

The master said: “I can help you; however, you will have to leave your son at my place for three months. For the whole period, you are not allowed to come to see him. I will assure your satisfaction after the three months.”

As promised, the father did not come back until three months later. The master arranged a karate match to show the father the training result. When the competition was starting, the father found out that the opponent was a karate trainer. The trainer certainly made sure that he was fully prepared to win before he started to attack. On the other side, the son fell on the floor as soon as he was attacked without any resistance. However, the boy did not surrender and got up immediately after he fell. It went on like this for no fewer than twenty times. His father was embarrassed and felt pain but dared not say anything.

The boy lost badly when the match was over. The master asked the father: “Don’t you think your son was showing manliness?” “I felt ashamed of him! After three months’ training, what kind of result is this?! He is so weak and falls to the floor as soon as he is attacked. I don’t think he is manly at all.” The father was very disappointed.

The master said: “I am sorry that you only look at the superficial forms of failure and success. Didn’t you notice that your son had courage and bravery for standing up after his falls? It is a success if he stands-up more times than he falls, which is what a real man should possess. Many more skilled fighters are not as brave and manly as your son is”

The father had a sudden enlightenment and thanked the master deeply, and then he took his son home feeling pride.