Book review: TRIGGERS

Sparking positive change and making it last

by Marshall Goldsmith and Mark Reiter

Genres:

Leadership
Psychology
Personal Transformation – Self-Help

Review posted on:

30.03.2016

The number of pages:

272 pages

Book rating:

3/5

Year the book was published:

First edition published 2015

Who should read this book:

Anyone interested in personal development.

Why did I pick up this book and what did I expect to get out of it:

Whether you want to admit it or not we all have moments when something triggers you and you react in a totally different way than you ordinarily do, and you know that it’s not how you wanted to react but it just “happened”. What triggers me and how? And how can I control the triggers? That was going threw my mind when I saw this book. And right then I knew I had to read it. The author promises that he will help you find the answers to overcome your triggers, the ones you want to fix. He also shares real-life stories in the book from his clients. So based on what the author said on the covers of the book I expect to read about actions I can take to improve my reactions and to be able to identify my triggers and overcome them, and also to read stories of how others did the same.

My thoughts about the book:

One of the biggest takeaways that I got from the book is to fight triggers we first must know what a trigger is. A trigger is any stimulus that reshapes our thoughts and actions. In the book, the author shares with you stories of his clients and how they set up their own triggers that triggered behavior they wanted when they became aware of triggers that could have caused unwanted behavior. For example one of his clients always had a small card on which he could write down his wanted behavior. And by doing so he creates a trigger in his environment. One of the best takeaways from this book was the explanation of our own responsibility for our actions and how we can fight the excuses we create subconsciously so that we do not have to change. So the author gives us tools with which we build our wanted future, one of these tools is active questions, the structure we have to have for new behavior to take effect which are the rules of conduct, creation of our own triggers, and more. Remember your current beliefs have a great effect on your chances of success in changing your habits. So make a list of them and see which ones are good for you and which ones are not. Then get to work.

To sum up, the book was an interesting read, and if you are starting out and looking for a self-help or self-improvement book then you should definitely pick this one up. As mentioned before in my opinion the best pieces of advice from this book are the active questions daily routine, creation of structure, creation of own triggers, and having them close to yourself always. But then again I did expect more from it. I expected more detailed examples and explanations about triggers and how to prevent negative reactions/behavior, not just the evergreen answer that willpower and mindfulness are the keys.

If you picked up this book please let me know what you think about it in the comment section.

My notes from the book:

Fate is the hand of cards we’ve been dealt. We have a choice in how we play the hand.
No one can make us change unless we truly want to change. Keep this in mind next time you want to help somebody who doesn’t want your help.
Our inner beliefs trigger failure before it happens. They sabotage lasting change by canceling its possibility.
There is a difference between understanding and doing. Just because people understand what to do doesn’t ensure that they will actually do it.
When we fail we award ourselves a free pass because we’re not the worst in the world. This is our excuse to take it easy, lowering the bar on our motivation and discipline.
When we fail we award ourselves a free pass because we’re not the worst in the world. This is our excuse to take it easy, lowering the bar on our motivation and discipline.
We seldom recognize that self-control is a limited resource as we become tired our self-control begins to waver and may eventually disappear.
When making plans for the future always plan for unexpected distractions. You do not live in a perfect world.
The belief that happiness is a static and finite goal is one of the greatest Western diseases. When we reach our goal we always have to follow up, or the positive change doesn’t last.
If we place ourselves in an environment of impatience, competitiveness, and hostility it alters us in this way.
We think we control our environment, but in fact, it controls us. Our environment is a nonstop triggering mechanism whose impact on our behavior is too significant to be ignored. If we do not create and control our environment, our environment creates and controls us.
Triggers are not inherently “good” or “bad”. What matters is our response to them.
Paradoxically, the big moments the ones packed with triggers, stress, raw emotions, high stakes, and thus high potential for disaster are easy to handle. It’s the little moments that trigger some of our most unproductive responses.
Quite often our smartest response to an environment is avoiding it. To avoid undesirable behavior, avoid the environments where it is most likely to occur.
Our environment is a relentless triggering mechanism that, in an instant can make us lose sight of who we’re trying to be.
Accepting is most valuable when we are powerless to make a difference.
Employees who have a sense of making progress are more engaged than those who don’t. We don’t just need specific targets, we need to see ourselves nearing, not receding from, the target.
Happiness goes hand in hand with meaning. When employees report that they are happy but their work is not meaningful, they feel empty as if they’re squandering their lives by merely amusing themselves. On the other hand, when employees regard their work as meaningful but are not happy, they feel like martyrs and have little desire to stay in such an environment.
By asking “Did I do my best to…” you do not ask how well you performed, but rather how much you have tried. You can not blame anyone or anything else but yourself. It all depends on your effort.
The net result in asking ourselves the “daily questions” is clarity in the fact we are forced to confront the questions we try so hard to avoid and that is are we getting better?