To who does the “gift” belong to when no one accepts it?

Some time ago in a village near the capital city of Japan, there lived an old samurai. One day when he was conducting a class for his students, one young warrior, who was famous for his rudeness and cruelty, approached the samurai wanting to challenge him to a duel. His favorite technique was provocation: he would make his opponent so indignant that, blinded by rage, he would accept the former’s challenge of a fight, and would then end up making a series of mistakes and ultimately lose.

Sure enough, the young warrior began to insult the old man: he threw stones at him, he spat at him and called him every name you can think of. But the old man remained calm and simply continued with the lesson. At the end of the day, the tired and irritated young warrior set off home.

The samurai’s students were amazed that the old man withstood so many offensive insults, and asked him: “Why did you not accept his challenge of a fight? Surely you weren’t afraid of defeat?” And the old samurai replied: “If someone comes to you with a gift and you refuse to accept it, who does the gift belong to?”

“It’s former owner,” said one of the students. “The same applies to envy, hatred and rude words. As long as you do not accept them, they belong to the person who carried them in their own mind in the first place.”


Lessons from this story:

  • We do not need to react to everyone or everything that wants our attention.
  • Know what is important to you and focus on that. Do not let others distract you with their way of life and their way of thinking.
  • Know which fights are worth fighting and which are worth ignoring.
  • Sometimes winning a “battle” can cause you to lose “the war”. Arguing or fighting with a fool will get you nowhere. It might even cause you to become a fool yourself.
  • Be mindful of your thoughts. In the end they might do the most damage to you.

Are there any lessons I missed? Please let me know in the comment section.

Source of the featured image: The gift you do not accept

I hope you found this post helpful. Let me know what you think. Talk to you in the comment section.


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